J. & C.'s Movie Reviews

Our Notes on Movies Made Public


Posted by J on January 7, 2007

Hey, why are you’re giving away the end of a movie?

Most people seeking a review of a new theatrical or DVD release have not seen the movie.  Conversely, most people looking for an older movie review have seen the movie.  Frankly, we’re more interested in analysis, which means discussing what the last acts of a movie mean.  The general rule is that if we’re reviewing an older movie (pre-2007), we’re likely to talk about its ending. You are now sufficiently warned.

Why are you quantifying Entertainment, Morality, etc.?

There’s gotta be some way of telling you how much we liked a movie, and of sorting out what’s good, pretty good, okay, and terrible.  Every critical rating system is crude, but necessary for the general reader.

Why don’t you talk about my favorite actor’s performance?

Why should we?  Actors are overrated.  They get the glamor job, but much of what we see of them depends on a number of factors, including: the script, the director, the producers, the editors, the make-up artists, the costume designers, the cinematographer, etc. An actor may get ten takes, nine of which may be horrific, but it’s up to masterminds other than the actor to figure out which take is just right.

This is not to say that there aren’t great actors worthy of praise.  It’s just that, basically, they are glorified minstrels.

What about the Oscars?

A glitz-and-glamour fest on the surface.  A big marketing tool for the movie studios underneath it all.  Rarely, if ever, does the best anything win the Oscar it should.  In short, we don’t care.

You seem to hate everything! What do you really recommend?

Rarely watch anything.  Spend time with the family.  Read a book out loud; it will occupy several days and everyone will love it.  And you’ll be having good interaction with people you should be having good interaction with.  (This rarely happens when you all gather around a screen and stare at it.)

Everyone knows that 98% of all movies are junk.  Just like 98% of the novels, 98% of non-fiction, etc.


3 Responses to “FAQ”

  1. John Jay said

    I’m surprised you’d recommend the second Babe film, while damning Happy Feet, simultaneously – it’s by far the bleakest of Miller’s work, even including the Mad Max films.

  2. I have to ask (but hate to): if you (as you seem to) despise most movies, actors and Hollywood in general, then why have this site? You say in your FAQ that instead of watching movies, we should be spending time with our families or reading a book, but truly, if you watch enough movies to have a fully functional review site, then aren’t you ignoring your own advice? I love film and I approach every movie I watch with a real excitement that this one will be great. You’re right, most aren’t, but if I were to approach them with the dread/hatred you do, I wouldn’t bother. I just don’t get it.
    And gathering around a screen may not encourage interaction during a movie, but it can spark great discussion after, unless all you’re watching is Paul Blart Mall Cop and its ilk.
    Just saying.

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