Return of the Jedi
Posted by J on August 18, 2008
In honor of the release of the spectacularly bad Clone Wars, let’s revisit the point at which George Lucas lost 
his creative powers, if he ever had any. Return of the Jedi is a two-hour, thirty-minute denouement. There is nothing in this movie that was not in the two previous installments, and it is missing much that was in those previous two. The only new plot development is a soap-opera style moment in which Luke tells Leia that she is his sister. Like the three prequels released after it, this movie believes that more stuff is better: more space shootouts, more monsters, more swordfights. This is the narrative theory of the blockbuster: the audience is filled with morons with money to burn, so please them with as much spectacle as the budget allows.
This one tries to please using primitive teddy bears. Lots of people have hated the Ewoks over the years, but they have their place. The point is that even primitives can beat empires, hands down, with willpower and persistence. It is complete nonsense — one use of a high-tech weapon could destroy everything the Ewoks have built for a thousand years — but it captures the general feeling these days that upscale political powers are too wimpy to go back to colonial-style rule. Return of the Jedi shows teddy bears throwing rocks at billion-dollar war machines, blowing them up, and winning independence. We the audience are obviously supposed to cheer along.
A few Christians have gotten uptight about people believing in Lucas’ ripoff of Oriental mysticism. It’s true that you wouldn’t want your kids to believe in Star Wars‘ religious claptrap, but then, as good Americans, you probably do want them to hold dear its anti-tyranny political values, made clear by the victory of a ragtag band with American accents beating an empire of oppressors with English accents. So, calmly discuss with little Johnny and Susie how stupid this business about the “Force” is. Explain that “force” is a physics concept. Tell them that telekinesis is not. If necessary, demonstrate that you cannot lift rocks and green puppets named Yoda with your brain. Finally, tell them that the balance of good and evil in the universe is very bad theology. They should already know that long before they are capable of watching this movie. It’s then up to you if they should watch it, but remember that everyone else in the world has, and so Johnny and Susie will be tempted to watch this and a lot of other things once they exit the house. If you have properly equipped them for that moment, they will probably not convert to Buddhism or take up the ways of the Jedi.
Entertainment: 9 (but just a 7 for Lucas’ updated version)
Intelligence: 1
Morality: 5
